Saving Wrong
by Mad Madi007
Summary: "The moon likes secrets. And secret things. She lets mysteries bleed into her shadows and leaves us to ask whether they originated from otherworld's, or from our own imaginations." It's not easy coming into a company of men when you're both a replacement and a foreigner, not to mention a woman. But blood spilt bonds you, I know it did for me. And now they have to know I'm no Nick.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, so first thing first, I do not own any of the Band of Brothers rights. I would hate to disrespect the men of anyone who fought, or any of the families so I'm going to write from my best of a portrayal from the actors of the tv series. Secondly I've added a character, obviously, I hope you like her. The story might be a little bit confusing to start off with but it explains itself. **

**I hope you like it! Tell me what you think. I haven't written in a long while so reviews are great as always! **

**~Enjoy~**

**+oOo+**

_The moon likes secrets. And secret things. She lets mysteries bleed into her shadows and leaves us to ask whether they originated from otherworld's, or from our own imaginations._

—Charles de Lint

**~oOo~**

**BANG! **

_Light shattered darkness as the trees around me exploded into a terribly terrifying display of pure power. _

**BANG! **

_My heart escaped from my chest and I pulled the trigger, killing the man in front of me. He looked just like Nick as his eyes widened in terror._

**BANG!**

_I watched as Jackson clambered up the stairs and threw the grenade into the house and continued onwards. I watched in terror as Martin called out in warning but it was too late._

**BANG! **

_He looked down the barrel of the gun placed at my forehead with a snicker. "It's gotta be 'er or 'im."_

**~oOo~**

_I'm getting ahead of myself, _I think as I roughly shoved Johnny Martin aside and felt the first bullet hit me instead. _It never happened in that order; _I couldn't help but hear the voice inside my head continue. _On the verge of death and I can argue about how gunshots didn't match the flashbacks in chronological order. _

Another bullet made me see a hot white in slow motion. Far in the distance I saw children laughing as they sprinted through fields of waving green grass, the girl taking the lead to look back on a younger brother with lazy brown eyes and golden locks of hair. Father's prized child.

**BANG! BANG! **The following bullets crashed the moment of peace and I moaned in pain as the ground leapt forward to rip me from my feet. Two hands caught me before it had such a chance.

"I got you god dammit Night!" someone said and then more bright light. The other American soldier had gotten into the jeep he had and drove drunkenly away making his headlights cast sharp shadows across the forest. I groaned as more hands grabbed me.

"Just…" I start wincing as blood slowly found my lips. I coughed and cried out as it felt like a knife dragging down my throat, my suddenly very dry throat.

"Shh, we're going to get you to Doc Roe. Bloody hell."

"Don't," I forced my eyes open as Luz and Lip got me onto the back of the jeep. Luz's concerned gaze met mine but I was trying to focus on Martin, he_ had_ to know, he had to know now that there was nothing else that could be done. "Tell. No. One." I let out another cry of pain and closed my eyes as the jeep hit a pothole.

"Bloody hell Perconte!" snapped Martin as my head lulled to the side. Darkness was closing in and I wanted to give into the temptation but a hand gently slapped me on the face and I forced my eyes open once again. Luz had taken hold of my hand and was smiling down reassuringly.

"Sorry!" exclaimed Perco before Martin's face appeared above me as well. His brow was furrowed and was a hilarious contrast to Luz's goofy concerned smile. If I wasn't in such pain I would have laughed.

"We're nearly there Nick, just hold on," Luz reassured.

I groaned in pain as Lip and Martin held down the wounds to try and stop the blood flow from killing me. I could feel the metal in my body feeling unwanted and alien. I wanted to pull away from it but it wasn't something I could do, every inch of me felt on fire as I silently wept dry tears and ground my teeth to keep myself awake. "Where. Have…"

"Hey, don't worry about that now. We're going-"

"WHERE!" I shout feeling a short relief of the pain that was quickly shoved back into my body with a more blinding force.

Luz looked to Martin, passing on the duty and Martin swallowed looking like he wasn't going to respond for a moment, his mouth pursing into a hard straight line before he finally answered, "Two in the shoulder and one in the stomach."

I groaned and let my head fall back, I knew there was no escaping it now.

**~oOo~**

_It thundered like the heavens had decided to tear the seams of worlds apart like the gods had finally decided to fight on the bloody battlefield. I gazed up at the dark black bruises in the sky with the occasional plane flying high like dirty angels. Bombs in the distance shattered a serene silence. I closed my eyes and breathed in the heavy smell of blood and what should have been dirt, but winter was keeping the earthly smell for itself and winter rode with his horsemen ever closer, ever colder. _

_I looked around quickly to see if any of the other soldiers were walking by before tugging at the uncomfortable bandage that bound my chest tightly. Whether it was hope, luck or my sheer determination I had pulled off the act for a year and no one had double glanced at me. I was just another dirty soldier on the front line. I had hidden my German accent and replaced it with an Irish one. Of cause my auburn hair that once flowed past my shoulders, now cut to a messy crew cut like most of the others, helped pull it off. It wasn't like I was a Nazi; I was just born into a family that was split. My English mother and my German father, I was raised here and there before finally settling in France before the war started. My father had long passed and faded to a distant and harsh memory like the cold that eventually passes unless you draw power from it and pursue it with darkness. My younger brother and crippled uncle tended to whatever they could grow on a small farm, my mother breaking her back with the extra load and bleeding her heart over her honour and tradition. That was how I came to be sitting in a foxhole with bombs bleeding into the very beating of my heart and the air burnt with the metallic sting of blood and trauma and death and life. Tradition and honour. If tradition and honour would force a mother to send her youngest and only son to war then I would spit on it. _

"_Private Night," came a stern voice. I looked up and opened my eyes quickly, clutching onto my gun for moral support. _

"_Yes sir," I say quickly. I had quickly learned that if you called everyone Sir you generally wouldn't get a beating for not addressing a higher rank properly. _

"_You're bein' transferred," he muttered and handed me a bunch of flimsy looking paper. I looked at the paper as it shook in the wind with the drifting smoke battering the paleness, it looked so pristinely clean in the dirty surrounding. Gingerly I let go of the gun with one hand and reached out to take it. _

"_If I may sir," I say speaking in a deeper tone than my actual voice, however, I was so accustomed to it that now I wasn't sure what my normal voice sounded like. "Where to?"_

"_You're goin' to be fighting with Easy Company, 2nd Battalion, 101st Airborne Division. Apparently they're tough Yanks," muttered second lieutenant Reid whilst he looked down on me. _

"_Do I leave now?" I ask unsure as I looked at the paper in my hand, half wondering if I were to open it or to give it to the man I was going to be deployed to. _

"_Yes, Ripper's takin' a message with him so find him. Oh, and don't open that. Give it to Captain Winters. Keep safe Night," he said offering me a hand that I took. He nearly ripped my arm off as he pulled me out of my foxhole and then patted my back with a warm smile. _

"_Best of luck," I say to him with a short nod before leaving. I wasn't sure if the others would really miss me, I was renowned for keeping to myself despite the cold that seemed to lick closer and closer to my flesh with every breath. _

~oOo~

It was a bustle of activity as suddenly the men of 2nd Battalion rallying could be heard from where I was placed on a table. Doc Roe appeared silently by my side like he had for every man in need of him during the war. His eyes quickly calculated the possibilities and severities before going to removed my jacket.

"Doc," I say and somehow my unwounded arm shot up and pushed him away with the last of my strength. "Don't tell. No one." I shivered and moaned as the hot white pain attacked. The metal inside of me feeling unwanted and foreign brought on a flash fire of heat before I shivered. "They won't pay. My family."

"You'll be fine Night," he said moving forward after a moment of confusion and concern had stained his beautiful face. I wanted to close my eyes and shield myself from what was about to come, but I couldn't take my eyes off his face. A bead of sweat trickled down my neck plastering my, now shaggy, hair to my face and neck. He cut the shirt now, lower and lower. Confusion hit his face and he met my eyes as Luz ran in.


	2. Chapter 2- Dark House

**A/N: **

**Hey everyone! Thanks for reading and thanks to those who are now following and favouring! It means a lot! I hope you like this chapter, a little more flashbacks to help with understanding : ) Tell me what you think if you can spare the time! **

**Anyway, here we are…**

**Geromino!**

**~oOo~**

Dark house, by which once more I stand

Here in the long unlovely street.

Doors, where my heart was used to beat

So quickly, waiting for a hand.

A hand that can be clasped no more –

Behold me, for I cannot sleep,

And like a guilty thing I creep

At earliest morning to the door.

He is not here; but far away

The noise of life begins again,

And ghastly thro' the drizzling rain

On the bald street breaks the blank day.

_-Lord Tennyson_

_Dark House_

_**~oOo~**_

_**!**_

**December 17, 1944**

**Upon their arrival at the entrance to the woods of Bastogne, soldiers of E-Company met wounded returning from the front. The men of Easy lacked ammunition, had no winter clothes and were lacking food.**

_**!**_

_I took a shaky breath as I trudged alongside the wounded men who were drifting out of the woods of Bastogne. Nearly every man I saw was wounded, whether it was his head hung low with tears of fear and hurt in his eyes or with an arm slung here or a bullet wound there. I couldn't help but think this was the place I would be fighting in now, not alongside these men but men very much like. _

_Ripper punched my arm and pointed to where he was going to go, towards the men standing beside a car watching the other American soldiers limp past in their masses. Flames that we'd spotted from two miles away licked cold warmth into the night with orange shadows. "Satin," he said calling me by the nickname the men had given me because of my feminine features. "Captain Winter's is over there," he then pointed in another direction to a man with short red hair was looking at a map with two others. "Best of luck, don't freeze your balls off," he added before disappearing without another word. _

"_Thanks. I think," I mumbled quietly before pushing out of the press of the crowd and was greeted with a wave of cold. I walked forward just as the three of them parted, the older looking man swinging into the jeep they were by and drove off. _

"_Sir," said Captain Winters and the other man. _

_**Okay,**__ I tell myself and took a deep breath. "Captain Winters?" I say as he began to walk away with the other man. _

"_Yes," he replied narrowing his eyes on me. _

_I settle my gaze on that of calm blue steel. "Sir I believe I've been transferred to your company," I said feeling the familiarity in a deeper voice that rumbled in my chest. Handing him the paper, that had now carried a fair bit of dirt on it as well; he took it and inspected the paper quickly before opening it and reading it with his sharp eyes._

_He nodded and replied, "Ah, yes. Take this to 1st Lieutenant Dike; he will be your commanding officer," then he gave a small smile and left, brushing past as he joined another man. I sighed and looked hopelessly around for the unknown face. After a second I realised I'd have to ask someone so I tried to pick out someone who hopefully wouldn't scream at me and approached them, he was standing in a group of maybe three people. _

"_Excuse me sir," I say looking from him to the others. "Could you tell me where 1st Lieutenant Dike is, I'm to report to him."_

"_Hell if we knew," the man said chuckling. "You a new replacement right?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_What's ya name?" he pried._

"_You got any smokes?" asked another._

"_Nickolas Night, but everyone calls me Satin. And no, I don't smoke," I say turning to the other guy who lost most interest in me at that moment. _

"_Right, well I'm Luz," said the one I asked. He shoved his thumb to the guy next to him who had asked for smokes, "This is Perco, and that there is Skip Muck," he added and the third guy nodded briefly jumping from foot to foot in the cold. _

"_Go see Lt. Lipton," Muck said nodding his head in the direction of a man who was going through something with someone; it looked like he was talking maps. _

"_Thanks," I say and headed over to the man. This, believe it or not, got worse. _

~**oOo~**

"Youh'll be fine Night," he said moving forward after a moment of confusion and concern had stained his beautiful face. I wanted to close my eyes and shield myself from what was about to come, but I couldn't take my eyes off his face. A bead of sweat trickled down my neck plastering my, now shaggy, hair to my face and neck. He cut the shirt now lower and lower. Confusion hit his face and he met my eyes as Luz ran in.

"Doc-"

"Luz get out," Roe said not taking his eyes off mine, his chest was rising and falling like he had sprinted a mile. I felt a string pull at my chest before another wave of darkness shook me and I couldn't help but let out a cry of pain and felt my body instantly respond with a contortion of limbs in a desperate attempt to get away from the pain.

"But…" I heard Luz mumble as Doc Roe's hands gently pushed me back onto the cold table. I melted in response cracking into a hazy darkness as my breath failed me. I gasped desperately to find air. "Jesus Christ she can't breathe," Luz exclaimed.

"I noticed," Roe snapped as I continued to try and desperately to find air. Every moment I was slipping further and further away. I felt myself getting lighter as chills ran down my spine and tumbled through my fingers. I was floating, the sound of two children laughing as they ran through splintered sunlight in a field of long grass.

**~oOo~**

_White and grey, a bleak black and an icy cold that splintered the world of reality. Bastogne. I shivered again but gladly kept digging the foxhole on the front line for watch; Joe Toye sat on his heels and stirred hot liquid from within an upturned helmet. _

"_So where you from Satin?" he asked, already adapting my nickname. I got the feeling they had replacements often and that meant they lost replacements often. That also meant that no one wanted to get too close to me at the moment. _

"_Ireland," I say stabbing the spade into the frozen ground and took a moment to look up at him. My breath was coming out sharp in the freezing air, "Hence the accent." I blew out a breath and watched the white plume dance before melting into the background. _

_He chuckled but made no other move to ask anything else. That was a good thing, the more they asked the more I'd have to lie and my lying was skilful, laced with half-truths and with half-truths links can be forged and information dug out. I stabbed the soil once more and then threw it to the side of the foxhole catching a glimpse of Doc Roe creeping closer, his feet moving almost silently on the snow. I was amazed how anyone could do such a thing, for me breathing without sounding like I was dying was hard enough. It hurt like hell to breathe in the cold. __**So bloody cold. **_

**~oOo~**

**!**

**January 1945. **

**North of the town of Bastogne, Belgium, near Foy.**

**The company recorded heavy losses in the Battle of the Bulge: The Killed In Action (KIA) are: **

_**Corporal Hoobler, Donald B., 20508303, January 3rd. 1945, OH,**_

_**Sergeant Warren H. Muck, 12131169, January 10, 1945, NY,**_

_**Pfc Alex H. Penkala, 35549002, January 10, 1945, IN, **_

_**Pvt Johnnie E. Shindell, 38530711, January 10, 1945, OH.**_

**The Easy has had a total loss of 45 (killed, wounded, missing) for the entire month in Bastogne. 37 more soldiers died because of cold, pneumonia, combat fatigue and other causes.**

**!**

_Light shattered darkness as the trees around me exploded into a terribly terrifying display of pure power. _

"_GET IN A FOXHOLE!" I heard Buck shout as he ran through the forest, behind him exploding trees splintering a cascade of wooden flesh onto the frozen ground. I scampered and tripped on a branch feeling my heart throb. __**This is it; **__I couldn't help but think as I lunged for my foxhole. __**This is where something hits me in the back, my life flashes before my eyes and then I die. **_

_I threw myself down into the hole feeling the solid earth around me shudder and tremble. Light erupted in darkness and thunderous cracks left a splintering silence. I breathed out hearing the ringing in my ears and the thumping in my chest. __**Shit, silence! **__I wasn't sure which was worse, the thunderous explosions or the crippling silence._

"_STAY IN YOUR FOXHOLES! STAY IN YOUR FOXHOLES!" _

"_Stay down! Stay in your foxholes," Lip said running past me briefly sparing me a look before he disappeared in the smoke, or fog, either or it was a clumpy grey mass. _

"_Help? Anyone there?" I heard someone shout._

_I took a breath, "Who's that?" I ask getting up to the lip of the foxhole and dared a look out. My heart was still thumping as adrenaline pumped thickly through my veins, I was sure I could run to Foy and shoot all the bastards and then run back. _

"_Heff! Babe, come on get me out!" Babe called out from what looked to be under a fallen tree. I jumped out of my foxhole and pushed my rifle onto my back to briefly touch the hand._

"_I'm here, you okay?"_

"_Yeah, Satin get me outta here."_

"_Can I get some help here!" I shout out and within a moment I had another two people at my side. I was glad because despite the cocky adrenaline I wouldn't have been able to heave the tree off the foxhole like Luz and Lipton could. "Think you overdid it on the cover," I joked and held out a hand for Babe. He chuckled and took it just as another series of those bloody German 88mm guns and mortars released hell on us again. _

"_Incoming!"_

"_GET DOWN!" _

_I slipped and then stumbled after the first figure that held out his hand for me. I took it and continued to tail behind as he ran straight past the empty foxhole. I grabbed their jacket and we both tumbled into the foxhole as a tree splintered sending a blast of debris over the foxhole. I could hear screaming and a cry for a medic as his back pressed against my front, his breathing coming out sharp and fast. I looked up at the spinning trees briefly, their fingers reaching for a darkening sky or grey. The shattering and screaming of the explosions seemed to drone on for years and for once I could get my thoughts off the numbing cold or the wound on my arm._

_With time once again it dulled and the figure shifted off me. "Thanks Satin," muttered Luz and poked his head out of the foxhole. "Lip! Lip!" _

_I didn't hear anything for a moment and dread filled me. "Are you alright? Stay down."_

_I let out a sigh I didn't know I'd been holding. Then for probably only the second time I've ever seen Lt. Dike, or as I'd mostly known him as, Foxhole Norman, scampered to a halt beside Lipton. "1__st__. Sgt. Lipton? You get things organised here..."_

"_Look at this," muttered Luz in amazement, tapping my shoulder. I sat up and looked at a scattered looking Dike clutching onto his weapon. _

"…_I'm gonna go for help," he finished before getting up and running off into the trees. _

"_What 'da fuck?" Luz said frowning as he meets both my gaze and then Lipton's. Luz gathered his voice again and then asked, "Lip, where the fuck's he going?"_

**!**

**The Easy Company enters the Alsatian town of Haguenau, north of Strasbourg near the German border. The Easy receives the order to send a patrol across the river through the city in order to capture enemies and make them talk.**

**!**

"_What are you reading?" asked Webster. We hadn't talked very much but seeing as I had now gathered my place among the men (and shown I was no scatter after the freezing cold of Bastogne, the bombing we'd endured within the dark cold forest and the attack on Foy) I felt the need to spread out my fingers and talk to new people. I hated breaking my so called rule but after what Joe Toye had told me in Bastogne I realised he was right. Here in the heat of battle one needed to trust those beside you, those brothers in arms if not blood. Everyone needed someone they could laugh with, someone they could die for as they would for you. _

_I lowered the small dirty book with a worn rusty red velvet cover. It had previously been Nickolas's from father, but one night he had given it to me and said to keep it safe and it would keep my thoughts safe in turn. "Lord Tennyson," I replied not really caring if reading poetry was a feminine thing. I was probably going to die on this patrol tonight, what would be the problem with a little poetry?_

"_Shit, you read poetry?" he exclaimed. I gave him a threatening stare, if he was going to lecture me and piss take that I read poetry I may as well show the D-Day veteran a bit of fight. He held up his hands, "Oh I'm not fucking with you. I studied literature in Harvard."_

_I let the glare switch to a warm smile. "Really?"_

"_Yeah, what one of his works?"_

"Dark House."

"_I don't think I've heard it before,"_

_I lifted the book and read out for him,_

"_Dark house, by which once more I stand_

_Here in the long unlovely street._

_Doors, where my heart was used to beat_

_So quickly, waiting for a hand._

_A hand that can be clasped no more –_

_Behold me, for I cannot sleep,_

_And like a guilty thing I creep_

_At earliest morning to the door._

_He is not here; but far away_

_The noise of life begins again,_

_And ghastly thro' the drizzling rain_

_On the bald street breaks the blank day."_

_He nodded in thought before patting me on the back, "I like it."_

_I shrugged. "Just a sweet reminder of what life used to be like," I confessed but I think he thought I was still talking about the indulgence of poetry because he took a seat in front of me and pointed._

"_Have you read-"_

**~oOo~**

"_You're funny!" I admit pointing at Luz as his priceless goofy grin hit his cheeks. "You are really funny."_

"_Don't give him too much Satin, his head will explode," Perconte exclaimed. _

"_We'd all be dammed then wouldn't we," Webster chuckled as the back of the truck rattled. It was good to laugh, good to have some small chatter after that night Eugene Jackson died. I couldn't help but really take to him, he reminded me somehow of someone I used to know in London. A young man who'd sold animals on a corner store. He used to let my little brother pet the puppies while we talked. I hoped he hadn't joined to the war effort, I hoped he hadn't seen what I had. _

"_Oh come on Web, you know you love me!" Luz said opening his arms with a cigarette half hanging from his lips._


	3. Chapter 3- Schwachkopf

**A/N: **

**Okay so this is mainly a very big thanks to everyone reading and for **_anthora3 _**for being amazing a reviewing! Also, hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and for those who don't celebrate it that you had a great summer or winter day : )**

_anthora3 -_Thank you so much for your review! I'm sorry I didn't pick up on Lipton not being a Lt. and I very much appreciate you telling me. I also appreciate you ignoring the reality and hard truth that it wouldn't be very unlikely that a woman could pretend to be a man in most situations and especially this one were both such a tight bit bond was formed and all the other factors of war were present. Thank you for your constructive criticism and I'm going to work on fixing those things ;) and hope you enjoy this chapter! It means a lot to get a review like that.

**Also for you beauties who favourite and followed this story- karmagrace, LatinBookReader, LittleFlatts, missyxo, xXFallenSakuraXx52, ChastityHope13, Chrupy23, Uchihaheir58.**

**P.S. I don't speak German so what is in this story (And this goes for most chapters) is Google Translate. If there is anything wrong with it I'm sorry, as much as I'd love to speak every language in the world (who wouldn't), I don't. Bear with me please. **

**As always, no disrespect intended for the amazing men who served. I just want to try and interpret what the actors portrayed. **

**Here it is- **

**!**

**Schwachkopf**

**!**

**~oOo~**

My eyes opened slowly, they were thick with something that wanted to glue my lashes shut and keep me in the realm where my flash backs kicked me. The pain was now just a vibrant thudding in the thicket of my mind and body; I ached from my core to every inch of my body with a continuous thudding and pounding of a million blunt axes bruising my flesh from the inside out. After letting my eyes flutter a few times I was almost willing to fall back into the unconscious state of darkness that hid me from that very pain.

"Drink this," came a sweet voice. I moaned slightly before feeling the coolness touch my lips before passing and soothing my throat.

"Thank you," I mumble opening my eyes to see Doc Roe pulling a small cup away. I refrained a groan of pain whilst rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Now propping myself up with some help I noticed who was at my side, George Luz who seemed almost unsure about touching me, Johnny Martin stood behind him with his arms folded and a small smile on a serious face, Lipton was also there with that look he always had on his face when he was reassuring the men.

"Morning sunshine," Luz said light-heartedly as he flustered for a moment to make sure I was comfortable. I smiled in appreciation.

"How are you going miss," Lip said tipping his head slightly.

I went to deny it, by reflex, but realised with little hope that it was too late to deny such truths. "Please don't tell anyone. My family, if they find out I don't know what they'll do. Please, my little brother he's-"

"Don't worry," Martin said sternly, "We're not telling anyone," he continued with a smile.

"Thank you," I say with a staggered nod.

"So what's your real name then?" Martin continued.

I cleared my throat and Eugene handed me the water once again, I took it gladly and realised I no longer had to deepen my voice so almost hesitantly it changed back. "Nymeria. My real name is Nymeria Night… Nickolas," I say not used to having a rumble in my chest when I spoke, "Nickolas is my little brother." My gaze meet Martin's as I continued, "He was barely sixteen when they were asking for volunteers."

"He wouldn' have been old enough to enlist," Eugene pointed out.

I couldn't help but inwardly chuckle, if that had been the case I wouldn't have wasted all these years fighting to stay alive on the front line. "No, but my Ma was so bloody…" I took a shaky breath trying to see that it wasn't her fault and calm myself while biting back painful tears. I then wondered if I should even admit any of this, I quickly thought about how much I should keep to my chest and how much I should play. "We got in a fight the day before Nick was meant to sign up. There was nothing that was going to stop him from joining and Ma had no problem with it. She said it had to be one of us, so… I knocked him out and tied him up in the barn, cut my hair, changed my voice and walk, tied a bandage around my chest and hoped no one looked to close at that and my throat," I say remembering how fearful I was that someone would point out my lack of an Adam's apple. I could still picture it in my gentle nightmares, '_LOOK! IT'S A WOMAN!' _they would cry out with an accusing finger shaking in front of my face.

"How'd you pass the physical?" Eugene continued with a frown on his face. Being a medic I assumed he would have seen no possibility to solve it, except maybe a few options.

"I had a friend of mine who got me through the first lot, after that it was bribes mainly. You men will do anything for smokes and money," I say shaking my head.

"There's women on the line, field nurses and so forth. Why can't anyone know?" Lipton spoke up taking the attention for a moment with a curious frown on his face.

I swallowed trying to find my voice again; I started to notice how I slipped in and out of it. "She needs rest," Eugene stated saving me from answering if I didn't want to, but for some reason I didn't mind. After years it felt good to finally get it off my chest and into open air, it tasted stale on my tongue after keeping it locked away and hidden.

"I don't mind Eugene," I say touching his arm gently and noticing the look Luz had on his face as I did. I quickly flushed it away unless I stumbled over it again. Eugene took his seat again and I couldn't help but feel a nervous hitch in my chest but pushed it down into my stomach were it created butterflies. "My father was German and my mother was English and after… issues occurred with our family, mainly my father, we moved from Germany to England. But it didn't stop there… To put it simply my father wasn't the kind of man people got along with very well. He found himself in trouble too often and it got him in the back on day in London... Ma was scarred, as was I, so we moved to France to help our Uncle on his farm. She tried to cover it up for a while but it wasn't too long until I found out that my father's trouble followed us there…" I swallowed hard and let my eyes fall away from where I'd been looking from Lipton to Martin to Eugene and finally Luz's big brown eyes to my hands that twisted and pulled at the stiff sheets. "Instead of shooting us at point blank after doing god knows what that night in our barn they said 'It's gotta be one of us heading off to war.'" I looked up to Luz, "Just as good as shooting us in the head right there... I guess he didn't expect me to live, you know, switch with my brother. Nickolas wouldn't have been able to handle it. He was sensitive of sorts."

"Can you go back home?" Luz asked sullenly.

"No," I say shaking my head with a sigh, "They'd come back, I'm sure of it. I can send them the money though."

**~oOo~**

**! **

**Members of the Easy are sent in a village near Landsberg.**

**During the journey, on the road to Landsberg, David Webster placed on the DUKW vehicle which was carrying him and some other members of the E-Company, witnessed a scene that stayed in his mind: three soldiers went out of a building with three German prisoners and they are executed. The German prisoners were executed and then robbed. David Webster wrote after the war that he had not seen the Germans being killed, but he clearly heard the shot of the guns handled by French soldiers. He then turned to an American recruits, very excited to go into battle, and said, **_**"There it is, your bloody war! What do you think?" [1]**_

**! **

**One month earlier**

** Sturzelberg, Germany.**

**! **

"_Come on chicken."_

"_All right, this one's got some. George. You, uh…"_

_I sighed and shook my head as I stood outside the barn so called 'keeping watch' for the bandits, George and Frank, as they tried to rustle up some eggs. No one could complain though how could one with hot chow, actual beds under a roof, only a few hours of watch for many more spare time and there was the fact that the trees weren't exploding and the people you passed on the street weren't firing bullets at you. I yawned and let my eyes close as the sun touched my face and warm my recovering limbs. _

_I could hear George muttering as chicken's clucked and squawked. "Great. Fine. I'll just grab him by the foot… Come on chicken."_

"_How much longer?" I ask ducking my head into the doorway._

"_If this thing bites me, Frank, I swear I'll shoot it," George continued completely ignoring me as a cigarette hung lazily out of the corner of his mouth. To me it seemed that one was permanently welded onto his lips. _

"_I don-" Frank trailed off as his eyes feel to the right of my shoulder._

_I turned my head as a stocky blonde woman entered the doorway looking dazed and almost frightened as her blue eyes suddenly went wide. I heard the chicken squawk as George dropped it and said with no attempt of an accent, "Guten Tag, fraulei."_

_The woman looked over to me and stammered, her lips forming nothing audible before she finally mustered, "Guten Tag," and then rushed away with a brief glance back to Luz. Her cheeks were a blazing pink. _

"_Hold on!" Luz leapt from his spot in the barn and left Perco surrounded by chickens holding his helmet._

"_Come on George!" he whined as Luz scampered after the woman who clearly wanted no part with them. _

_I rolled my eyes, __**I wonder if I strip down and admit I don't have balls if he'd be the same, **__I couldn't help but wonder. Instead of doing such I held out my hand to help Perco as he brushed it off and we walked after Luz. _

"_Hey, hey, hey!" Luz said desperately trying to both calm the woman and get her attention. "Come on!" Luz said moving swiftly on his feet in acceptance of the challenge she was providing. I rolled my eyes and ruffled my swiftly growing hair. "I just want to talk to you."_

"_Ich verstehen nicht, __**(I don't understand)**__," she said shaking her head. _

"_Er ist ein Arschloch __**(He's a prick)**__," I joked and couldn't help but chuckle, but it faded pretty quickly when Perconte and Luz both looked over to me shocked. I coughed and let my smile die down. "I'll keep watch," I mumble pointing back to the barn door._

"_Since when do you speak German?" Perconte asked frowning._

"_Since now," I say brushing it off. "You pick stuff up."_

"_Where the fuck do you pick 'stuff' up?"_

"_Web taught me some," I brushed off again. _

"_Did Web teach you anything useful?" George asked and then motioned his head towards the frightened looking woman. _

_I shrugged, "Ich bin ein Schwachkopf? __**(I'm a dimwit)**__" _

"_What does it mean?" George asked offering her a packet of chocolate which she shook her head at. _

"_I'm a friend… I think," I lied knowing true well what it meant. If anything I had my German father to thank for that. He nodded and then turned to the woman,_

"_Ich bin ein Schwachkopf," George said smiling broadly and then showed her the smokes he had in his pocket. "Here, cigarettes. Camel. Yeah, you like that huh. Ich bin ein Schwachkopf."_

"_Luz," whined Perconte. _

"_Frank, please. Why don't you go make your omelette with Satin!" Luz growled and turned his attention back to the woman who didn't look as frightened. I however was almost twitching with refrained fits of giggles as George kept repeating 'I'm a dimwit' over and over to the poor woman who also looked like she was slightly of the sorts. I had turned my back on the both of them and walked out to the entrance of the barn long before they had exchanged these words. _

_Perco appeared at my side with a growl, muttering, "Well you're not getting any of my eggs, blockhead."_

_**~oOo~**_

"_**Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die. Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die. Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die.**_

_**He ain't gonna jump no more.**_

_**The lines all wrapped around his neck, the D rings broke his dome, his lift webs wrapped themselves in knots around each skinny bone, the canopy became his shroud as he hurtles to the ground.**_

_**He ain't gonna jump no more.**_

_**Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die. Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die. Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die,**_

_**He ain't gonna jump no more.**_

_**He hit the ground, the sound was 'Splat', the blood went spurting high, his comrades were heard to say oh what a hell of a way to die. He lay, and, in the welter of his gore.**_

_**He ain't gonna jump no more.**_

_**Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die! Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die. Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die. Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die!**_

_**He ain't gonna jump no more."**_

_The hillside lumbered along, cascading up into great heights and beautiful lows. The sun was shining and the trees sung sweet songs as the breeze whistled through the tops. The men were talking over the rush of wind through the open canopy of the jeep. I could hear Liebgott talking to Web about his life after the war while Luz was taking the piss at Janovec._

"_Hey Satin, Frank," I opened my eyes and watched George as he continued, "This guy's reading an article over here, say's the Germans… are bad!"_

_I laughed and watched his eyes light up. I was grateful for glorious George; I could only imagine how hard it would be to the one person who could always lift everyone's spirits. I only guessed it would take someone with a very strong heart to do such a thing. "Well you learn something every day," I replied and he chuckled. _

_I turned my gaze over to where Liebgott was finishing, "Yeah! Dick Tracy. Flash Gordon mostly. Yeah…" he pursed his lips together and avoided looking at a Webster who had a face screaming, __**'You fucking what?'**__ "What are you going to do after the war?" he then turned to me. _

"_Buy a ticket on the first plane outta here and see where it takes me," I say with a shrug. _

"_Seriously? What happens if it lands you in fucking Bastogne again?" _

"_Well when I say get a ticket on the first plane outta here I don't intend them to be askin' me to jump out of it," I say shaking my head. "I mean go somewhere like… Australia. I heard it's not cold there. Maybe America, I've never been to America before."_

"_You fucking what?" exclaimed Liebgott._

"_You ain't ever been to America?" exclaimed Frank. _

_Now it wasn't just Liebgott and Frank looking at me. Webster had looked up from his journal and George was watching me with a curious look strung on his warm face. "I'm from Europe, mainly England but my later years in France," I admit. _

"_Did you know any Krauts before the war?" Liebgott accused. _

_I felt a knot at my throat as I looked him in the eye and shook my head. Once, twice, it didn't seem to suffice as an answer so I mustered a breath and answered, "Nha. Not that I knew anyway." _

_**And at the gates of heaven, to Saint Peter he shall tell,  
One more soldier reporting sir! I've served my time in hell,  
Saint Peter will just smile and say you have served your country well,  
And he ain't gonna jump no more.,  
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,  
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,  
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,  
And he ain't gonna jump no more!**_

**~oOo~**

It had been days of lying in bed, watching the beautiful (but quickly very familiar) architecture of the roof. The pain had subsided but left me feeling like a fool lying in bed away from the rest of the world. I was now itching to get out and fresh air, Gene, Luz and Perco, Lip and Martin had come in often enough for me not to be lonely with my thoughts but I needed that air. I'd heard how they'd beaten the crap out the replacement that'd taken a shot at Martin and ended up shooting me. It was surprising for me to know that that I'd been deployed to Easy Company as both a replacement and a foreigner with hopes to stay quiet and go unnoticed and come out to with the men I'd fought next to fighting the life out of the man who had me fighting for my life.

I took a shaky breath and let my legs tumble out of the sheets and braced myself for the pain at my core. I had quickly learned I had a low pain tolerance; I was no hero, no magically invincible woman and not even a very manly woman. I wasn't the prime example of a tomboy, not close, but what you could say I was, was a young woman who was like very many others in the way that she would kill or be killed in defence of those she loved. As much as it was human mannerisms that destroyed, there were also those that defended.

Swallowing nails I decided that my objective would be the jug of water on the window sill. "Here we go," I mumble to myself slowly.

"What do you think you're doin' miss?"

I turned my head sharply to see Eugene standing at the doorway with a small smile on his face. It was shortly lived, but worth every awkward moment of staring at. I concluded to myself that he needed to smile more, it lightened his angelic face. "I can't stand lying in bed all day," I say looking back to the window and the objective. _Get the jug,_I think to myself and narrowed my eyes on it.

"If you get out before your body is ready then you'll have to. Give it time," he reasoned, rather smartly which made me sigh in a half submission.

"It's been three days!"

"Not even a week."

I gave another grumpy sigh and looked away from his calculating gaze. I knew he was right but he knew I was stubborn which overran any opposition. "Are you going to help me?" I asked and took a moment to realise it was my voice that was speaking. It felt so much lighter not having the deepened rumble in my chest; it flowed softer and sweeter and felt more elegant with my mixture of accents. For the benefit of everyone else I'd put on my best American, Irish accent and no one seemed think of me as anything else despite the unusual mix.

Keeping my eyes on the floorboards and my feet that hovered above them I jumped slightly as he took a seat at my side. _Is he always this quiet? _I wonder, _Of cause he is. From the time in Bastogne when we first met till now, he's always been a silent angel. _I also wouldn't have noticed his hands pulling the sheets away from legs if my heartbeat wouldn't have quickened drastically. "Don't want you trippin' now miss," he said as if noticing my sudden nervousness.

"Thanks," I say hearing my voice hitch and hoped he didn't think of it as anything other than me getting used to talking like a woman again.

"Rea-" I cut him off and dropped onto the floor feeling the sharp pain across my waist but bit down on my bottom lip to stop myself from crying out. It was uncomfortable and nauseating from the passing fever which Eugene carefully reminded me by placing his hand to my forehead. "How does it feel?" he inquired.

I turned my head and held my breath slightly when I realised how close we were. "No worse than breaking my ribs," I replied truthfully.

"Breaking ribs is extremely painful."

"Exactly."

**~oOo~**

"Take a break Satin, the war's over, there's no krauts breaking down the door and you've got your own room," Luz said patting the bed as I determinedly strode up and down the room wincing.

I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. Now it was Luz's turn to visit me, a time that I could always say I enjoyed. I was never as close to George as Frank had been, those two were a thick as thieves and got into just as much trouble as anyone else, but I had always been attracted to George. Not just in physical ways, but his humour and warm heartedness. No matter what had happened he had never failed to make me smile and feel like it wouldn't matter in another ten minutes.

"I'm going mad in here if you haven't noticed George, I'll be beyond help if I stay another day in bed!" but neither the less I made my way over and lay down on the bed, quickly motioning for him to take the empty space on the other side.

It took him a moment to register what the gesture was, or he simply didn't mind taking his time to look thoughtful before he swung his feet up and put his head on his hands on the pillow beside me. He sighed into the sheets with a long, "Ahh. This is what it's all about. Mind if I stay the night here?"

"There's enough room for three."

"We'll invite Frank and it can be a threesome."

"Trust you to think of that," I say shaking my head, "Schwachkopf."

"I've always had the feeling that didn't mean friend," he said pointing an accusing finger at me and quirked his eyebrow.

"Congratulations, you remembered!"

"Of cause, now what does it mean?"

"Ich bin ein Schwachkopf means, I am a dimwit. You were repeatedly admitting you were a dimwit to that poor woman back in Sturzelberg."

He shook his head at me before looking at the ceiling. "I don't think I'ma going to talk to you anymore."

"Oh come on!" I exclaimed taking the chance to trace his face and body with my eyes, his arms underneath the uniform solid and strong from hours of training and war testing their limits and pushing their boundaries. I loved how his scruffy fringe fell across those big brown eyes and that sparkle they had when he was taking the piss at someone. And how could I forget that lopsided goofy grin. I smiled, sinking into the pillow slightly as I watched his smile spread and that sparkle brighten, _Oh crap, _I suddenly realised and turned my head to the roof. _Crap I just zoned out while watching him, crap, crap, crap! I hope he…_

"What?"

"Hmm?" I replied quickly and tried to play it cool while inside my mind flustered about like a headless chicken. I couldn't help but look over to him, seeing a big smile on his face. Instantly I knew that I'd lost all hope of him not noticing or picking up. He knew dam well what I was thinking, he knew dam well that I was checking him out and that cocky grin told it all.

"What do you wanna say?" he asked propping himself on his elbows.

I shifted in my spot but didn't make any move to change the way I was, after all it wasn't like this was the first time we'd been close together. There had been more than numerous times that I had tagged along in his foxhole and we'd slept close together. _But that was Bastogne, _my head accused at me. _There were others as well! Perconte, Webster, Malarkey… _I couldn't think of anything else at the moment. I needed to focus and come up with another reply before his leaning slightly over me intoxicated me. "I have no idea what you're talkin' about George."

"Awww come on! What? You were checking me out weren't you!"

I went to speak but my voice dropped and then hitched leaving me coughing with a blush like a boy going through puberty. I moaned as he chuckled. "No," I finally managed sounding hoarse. I coughed again and pushed him off his elbows and back onto his back. He pushed back lightly, his goofy grin still on his face.

"Watch it! I'm wounded here!" I exclaimed pushing him again.

"You started it," he fired back, also pushing me with his shoulder. I giggled and nudged him back and he rolled over onto his stomach and froze momentarily. I couldn't help but tense as well as our eyes locked.

"Kids!" Perconte said from the door and walked in. George rolled off his stomach and onto his back, but not before I noticed the small flush on his cheeks. "Please!"

I grinned and patted the other side of the bed gladly letting Perco test my three person theory. He threw himself down gratefully and I couldn't help but wince slightly as his bulky pockets pushed up against the bullet wound.

"Hey, wounded woman here!"

"She's fine, ain't you?" Perco said chuckling. "And you were pushing her just a moment ago. How's it goin' anyway?"

"Good. Eugene was here just a moment ago," I say shifting myself slightly and catching a look at Luz. "He said that I shouldn't get another fever which will be good, and blood loss is a thing of the past."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," I say nodding, "So hopefully I can get my arse outta bed and see Austria."

"It's not going anywhere," Luz reminded me.

"Yeah but we are," I say feeling like my mind was drifting away from my body as I looked up at the ceiling with a reminiscent sigh. Luz nudged me gently and gave me a reassuring smile and a cheeky wink and I couldn't help but laugh. "You two go cause trouble," I say pushing them both at the same time.

**!**

**A/N: **

**!**

**[1]- information taken from **

** /eng/band_of_brothers_episode_ **

**I wish I could have the Stephen E. Ambrose book, but my library doesn't have it so I have to substitute. **


	4. Chapter 4- Nerves

"_**Remember this feeling that you have right now. How short life is-how fragile and unfair. And use it, to inspire yourself." **_

_-Dave Greco from 'What about Brian'_

**~oOo~**

I was stupid to think I could hide it from Major Winters or the men of Easy Company. Someone at some point had talked. I had put my bets on the replacement from I company but then again, how could have he known? But like wild fire, a rumour once kindled into a flame, will consume everything until it is stomped out. That was what Major Winters had come to do. _Stomp out ridiculous rumours. _For an innocent moment it was almost amusing to picture his face before when I walked into his office in a different uniform, one more close fitting to show in fact the presence of breasts and the hips of a woman. However, the thoughts eventually turned on me when I imagined what he might say next. I'd sent my letter to my family though, George and Frank had handed it in with theirs.

Waiting. It was daunting. It was cold and consuming with dark features.

I ran my fingers through my shaggy auburn hair now glad for the fact of its jaw lining length. Whatever came next at least I would have the hair from my mother's side of the family. I thought back to how Nickolas had said there must have been Viking blood somewhere in our roots, but we never really talked much about family aside from that one time on the bridge above the river.

A knock on the door made me turn around sharply, my nerves kicking me in the side and tickling my mind like it did before battle. "Are you ready?"

"No," I whispered to myself before opening the door with a small smile and nodded. I tried to calm myself down as I walked down the hallway alongside Lipton. My mind was starting to feel clammy and muddled like a thick fog through a dark forest just when you needed to see straight and clear. _It's Major Winters. Winters is a good guy, he has a family, he understands. I never was a traitor, I never did nothing wrong… well, except for pretending to be a man. Is that a crime worth shooting someone over? _I shook my head and took a deep nervous breath before lifting my head high and straightening my shoulders. I smiled slightly as I saw my mother pointing an accusing finger as she muttered, _"What have I told you about standing proper? Straight girl, put those shoulders back and hold your head high." _

Before I knew it I was standing outside the door, staring straight ahead. Lipton was at my side and he put a reassuring smile on his face and his hand on my shoulder. "It's Richard Winters. You know what he did in Haguenau, he knows you as well."

"Thank you Lip," I say and pulled a small smile onto my lips. It was short lived once he opened the door and we both walked into the grand room. If it had been any other time I might have taken a moment just to enjoy the beauty of the building, the long graceful arches and liquid like marble. I froze momentarily taking in, instead, the sight of Perconte, Luz and Martin standing in front of Winters, Nixon and Spiers. All three looked almost as emotionless as stone, not letting anything seep out of their mask of steel.

"Private Night," Major Winters finally said.

"Major," I addressed feeling a sense of relief when my voice remained impassive.

"The men were just telling me how you saved Martin's life," he said finally letting a small inkling of emotion slip. He smiled gratefully and my shoulders eased ever so slightly.

"Any of the men would have done it sir," I replied, "That's the kind of company we are."

"You say we, you consider yourself one of them?" Spiers asked and unlike Winters he let nothing slip through his intimidating sternness. To most he would have been considered the epiphany, of who you didn't want to mess with but it must have been the fever that ran through me for three days or letting my guard down that made me not burn under its stare. I had almost given up not caring, or maybe I knew I could make it?

"I would like to believe," I replied and gave a short nod. His eyes didn't leave mine as they calculated.

"So the rumours are true, I can't believe I've been so close to a woman for this long and never noticed," Nixon said now completely leaving behind the serious look and smiling broadly to illuminate his pale features. "I bet the men won't believe it either."

"I'm not intending to go so far as to show anything to prove it, sir," I say still reserved but felt the calmness wash over me with his smile and short chuckle. "Permission to speak freely sir?"

Major Winters favoured me with a nod of his head, "Granted."

"Sirs, I don't want anyone to beg for me nor do I beg myself, but I feel as though I should know if this is an… offence that will have me lined up along a wall?"

"No one's going to shoot you Night," Winters said making me suddenly feel like jelly. Nerves I thought I had calmed were indeed just hibernating beneath a cool surface. "You've proved yourself many a time and these men here have said nothing but praises." I looked over to where Lip had now joined the others and they all smiled at me proudly, yet shyly. "But I've gotta' be honest, we've never had a situation like this before so dealing with it is…"

"Difficult?" Nixon put in.

"Yes."

"Permission to speak sir?" Lipton said straitening his shoulders slightly as the attention shifted to him.

"Granted."

Lipton looked briefly towards me before saying, "Sir, I don't think the men would treat her any different if she were able to be back with the men."

"The war's over as well Dick," Nixon put in as he looked up from underneath dark eyebrows. I could see Major Winters thinking hard and quick about it, he had an unbeatable mind with tactics and sharp decisions which saved many men as well as killing many in tight situations.

He took in a deep breath and I found myself holding mine once again, a queasy feeling sticking to my ribs and making me sweat beneath the tight uniform. Living through Bastogne made you think if you'd ever be warm again, if you could ever shake the feeling of it looming over your shoulder… Now, now I felt like I'd been shoved into a furnace to slow roast. _Why am I so bloody shifty, _I curse myself watching him thinking. Finally he looked up and said, "I believe there's no reason why she can't be around the men."

I let my smile spill over my face and let out a shaky breath of relief. Lip was right; I don't know why I'd even been nervous. My hands were shaky but the wave of relief was enough to overlook the fact. "Thank you sir! Thank you," I say bitting down on my bottom lip to withhold a cry of happiness. I dared a look over to the four men (Lipton having joined them) and caught sight of George with his lopsided grin. I suddenly felt like I had to say something to him, but held it in.

Winters dismissed us and we all quickly shuffled out of the room, but the moment we were out I pounced on Lipton gripping him into a bear hug. "Thank you! Thank you!" I say kissing him on the cheek and taking Martin as my next victim. He chuckled slightly and patted me on the back, managing better than the slightly blushing Lipton who was given no warning. Perconte was next and he swung me around a little letting me laugh with him as George called, 'Saving the _best _to last aye Night?'

I took a step away from Perconte and felt my heart skip as George picked me up swung me around a little like Perconte had not moments before. He laughed with me and I couldn't get the ringing of his heartbeat out of my head as we pressed close. It wasn't normal, feeling this giddy around him. I had that urge to say something once again, but pushed it away as I left his warm embrace and Perconte started talking about all the alcohol we'd have to drink tonight_. I guess I'll have to find me a dress._

**A/N:**

**Sorry this one is a short one and I haven't updated in way too long. I've been very busy lately and went away with my dad and family for a week so I couldn't write. Hope you enjoyed**


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